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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:


-Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper, according to lights and darks


-Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown, if you see husband along the way, cover up
any exposed areas


-Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc


-Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone


-Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins


-Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean


-Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced


-Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red


-Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash


-Rinse conditioner off hair


-Shave armpits and legs


-Turn off shower


-Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower


-Spray mold spots with Tilex


-Get out of shower


-Dry with towel the size of a small country


-Wrap hair in super absorbent towel


-Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head, if you see husband along
the way, cover up any exposed areas





HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:


-Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile


-Walk naked to the bathroom, if you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making
the "woo-woo" sound


-Look at your manly physique in the mirror


-Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass


-Get in the shower


-Wash your face


-Wash your armpits


-Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off


-Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower


-Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area


-Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap


-Wash your hair


-Make a shampoo Mohawk


-Pee


-Rinse off and get out of shower


-Partially dry off


-Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time


-Admire wiener size in mirror again


-Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on


-Return to bedroom with towel around waist, if you pass wife, pull off towel, shake
wiener at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again


-Throw wet towel on bed