This was posted in our forums, so I thought I would post it over here too.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
-Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper, according to lights and darks
-Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown, if you see husband along the way, cover up
any exposed areas
-Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc
-Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and
pumice stone
-Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins
-Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean
-Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced
-Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red
-Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash
-Rinse conditioner off hair
-Shave armpits and legs
-Turn off shower
-Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower
-Spray mold spots with Tilex
-Get out of shower
-Dry with towel the size of a small country
-Wrap hair in super absorbent towel
-Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head, if you see husband along
the way, cover up any exposed areas
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
-Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile
-Walk naked to the bathroom, if you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making
the "woo-woo" sound
-Look at your manly physique in the mirror
-Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass
-Get in the shower
-Wash your face
-Wash your armpits
-Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off
-Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower
-Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area
-Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap
-Wash your hair
-Make a shampoo Mohawk
-Pee
-Rinse off and get out of shower
-Partially dry off
-Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time
-Admire wiener size in mirror again
-Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on
-Return to bedroom with towel around waist, if you pass wife, pull off towel, shake
wiener at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again
-Throw wet towel on bed